LOADING DATA
Katabasis
Members | |
---|---|
Cyrus Patel | Drums |
Zachary Walker | Guitars |
Member(bands): Yukon Moon | |
Jay Newton | Unknown |
Member(bands): Yukon Moon | |
Blaythe Steuer | Unknown |
Member(bands): Amnesty Please, Abandoned Sanctity, Evertheless | |
Russ Rogers | Vocals |
Member(bands): Abandoned Sanctity |
# | Discography | Type | Year | |
---|---|---|---|---|
1 | Holy Water | Single | 2018 | Show album |
2 | Dreams of Dying Remedies | EP | 2018 | Show album |
3 | Bright Lights and Violence | EP | 2019 | Show album |
Holy Water
Tracks | |||
---|---|---|---|
1. | Holy Water | 04:09 | Show lyrics |
I’m remembering all the times With no consciousness You crashed the car From the medicine to cope So you could forget me and her Were ever yours Brand us as your downfall And we’ll brand you the same For your love is in vain So we were taught that love is pain And you lived in the glass house That the river flooded Though it was all a ploy For the sickness toyed with Drown me Sever every tie bonding you and I Drown me in your holy water As you collided with the floor Our family died So I searched for beauty in the storm ‘Til our worlds collide Choking on the blood you gave me Leave me paralyzed For your crocodile tears They kill me Leave me paralyzed And the song you sang It didn’t mean a thing For you’re hard to handle Selfish and sad Yet I still find sympathy Deep in my heart As much as I try to hate I’ll miss you when you’re gone And when the time comes We’ll walk in shame ‘Cause the blood in me Was your blood to take Another glass of wine To take you away From your hardships and troubles That leave you ashamed As you remember the path you took That will haunt you till the end |
|||
04:09 |
Dreams of Dying Remedies
Album versions
Release date | Label | Catalog ID | Format | Description |
---|---|---|---|---|
January 19th, 2018 | Independent | Digital | Bandcamp | |
January 19th, 2018 | Independent | CD |
Members | |
---|---|
Band members | |
Russ Rogers | Lyrics |
Guest/Session | |
Jamie Hanks | Vocals (additional) (track 2) |
Miscellaneous staff | |
Kevin Langley | Recording, Mixing, Mastering, Producer |
Zachary Walker | Producer, Layout |
Blaythe Steuer | Producer |
Jessica Gallagher | Photography |
Nick Chance | Photography |
Luis Descartes | Photography |
Chelsea Kleis | Cover art (model) |
Luciferium War Graphics | Logo |
Casey Marley | Layout |
Tracks | |||
---|---|---|---|
1. | Scorched Home | 03:45 | Show lyrics |
I’ve shed every ounce of skin And abandoned the only home I have ever had All for the chase of finding something to suffocate my soul Hoping I could then fit into this hole A place where I’ll self inflict the pain Until there is nothing left to feel Besides the scars I trace Just to think of all the wrongs I’ll never right As I’ve poured kerosene on everything I’ve built Just to feel the warmth of burning desire Burnt my life down Took shelter inside my head Laid with thieves To fill the voids left A heart once gold Left to corrode And my stench Has left me alone I’ve done all but atone For the oaths I have broke Watched my blood suffer From my scorched home Years of playing the victim Has placed me here And I fooled no one Don’t place your empathy here Let waves of peace Crash through me Hang me out to dry On the cross of serenity As my convictions turned to dust I felt a sense of relief Cause this mind is the only burden I need Let me die hanging my head Ever so filled with dread Cause I made my life A cellar for what I had And I’ll roam until a purpose finds me But like the righteous I’ll rot eternally |
|||
2. | Holy Water | 04:09 | Show lyrics |
I’m remembering all the times With no consciousness You crashed the car From the medicine to cope So you could forget me and her Were ever yours Brand us as your downfall And we’ll brand you the same For your love is in vain So we were taught that love is pain And you lived in the glass house That the river flooded Though it was all a ploy For the sickness toyed with Drown me Sever every tie bonding you and I Drown me in your holy water As you collided with the floor Our family died So I searched for beauty in the storm ‘Til our worlds collide Choking on the blood you gave me Leave me paralyzed For your crocodile tears They kill me Leave me paralyzed And the song you sang It didn’t mean a thing For you’re hard to handle Selfish and sad Yet I still find sympathy Deep in my heart As much as I try to hate I’ll miss you when you’re gone And when the time comes We’ll walk in shame ‘Cause the blood in me Was your blood to take Another glass of wine To take you away From your hardships and troubles That leave you ashamed As you remember the path you took That will haunt you till the end |
|||
3. | Dreaming Red | 03:04 | Show lyrics |
Losing myself in primitive thoughts it’s like I’m always dreaming I’m God Caught staring at the clock until I find some courage It just ticks and ticks until my atoms split This war has found its way to my door I’ll be a victim of debt’s scorn Lying in the trench with my restlessness Restlessness Dwelling with the neanderthals Searching for a fix Dreaming the red out of my eyes Until I get my fix Dependent on addiction’s core Blending to the pavement Searching for so much more Left on the floor In search of a coma’s cure Fill up these veins With my poison dreams |
|||
4. | Fire Walk With Me | 05:45 | Show lyrics |
Sick of death and sick of life Watched the sun devour the night I’m always following the ghost of melancholy Life has chained me And taken me under the wings of tormented dreams And when it all crashed down As did my certainty Another night burning flowers As it serves as a reminder of words growing thin Asphyxiated from the sight of you And I severed the tongue That grew incapable of speaking your name Buried it with the promises of which we couldn’t obtain And I lie in the soil waiting for you to call my name You found warmth in a place once cold Left me to die and watch my heart erode Stayed in your shadow and watched you bloom It’s lovely from a distance but leaves me bruised My role as a placeholder has come and gone Left to figure out where it all went wrong Now I sleep in an altered state You haunt me in my dreams And leave me to inhale apathy As your every breath Pierces my arteries So I avoid sleep As the fear of waking up is taking its toll on me I don’t wanna open my eyes to a life once pure and clean I wanna beg for you to come and save me But this complacency has purged me Pray to be numb As the ache never leaves Your blood has made its home in my veins A heart that once beat in unison with mine Writes the death note to this life So I dig to the earth’s core to search for all abandoned And all I find Is the torture adored Chained to your roses thorn And all the secrets I chose to ignore Mirror fades to black Felt you through the cracks Death comes and gives me a light Life fades in this darkness of mine Painting walls with these memories I’m just a cog in this suicide machine Trying to clear my head But this damage is done I’ll wither away instead Let me be the first to die in your flowerhead Every flower whispers your name As if I was still engraved in your brain Every flower whispers your name For you are still engraved in my brain My ghost will trace your name in the dirt upon my grave |
|||
5. | Grief/Relief | 06:46 | Show lyrics |
Drowning in a sea of consciousness Off the coast of depravity Left the ruins and sank in your skin Wept and wept as I faced punishment Watched souls escape through a lens Forked tongue spewing venom Blackened lungs and bloodshot eyes This is how I always pictured I’d die Searched for grief in a painting called relief Bathed in lust to remind me That desires always erase me So love doesn’t come easy And hatred sings a song so pure to me It fuels my insecurities Always fail to cover my tracks So when I fall I never react Trying to search for grace in this pain Let it flow like the blood in my veins My nails can only carry so much dirt So I’ll cut off my fingers to make this work Searched for inspiration among travesty Found myself alone craving security Another door shut in my face Another reason to kill the memories Buried them deep inside my head Lost souls sleeping in my bed Watched souls escape through a lens Forked tongue spewing venom Blackened lungs and bloodshot eyes This is how I always pictured I’d die Though I’d like to say goodbye Forced dementia through my mind So whoever’s controlling you now Let them know I fucking tried Watched the dust settle Heard the rite of passage Locked eyes with a ghost that failed me Searched for solace in dead memories So for the closure we’ll never have I’ll continue to scream your name Until I feel nothing I seek nothing Carried the weight of words you spoke Felt your God clenching my throat Left to dwell for eternity About love, hate, and everything in between Inhaling smoke and breathing out fire Wish I was never born with desire The gods have cast a burden upon my soul And anguish cuts my throat Leave me to the worms so they can feast On all my dead-weight dreams So find me hanging from your light So I can keep myself warm For these times are trying And you lost intentions once pure Put your hands around my neck I want you to feel victorious again So shall I sink like Virginia Woolf Or will I burn like I’m Joan of Arc Either way, the world’s gonna spin So I’ll return to my dream state again For this remedy, it must die Place your flowers in my eyes |
|||
6. | Charlatan | 05:28 | Show lyrics |
Stargazing through these cold empty streets I’ll call to god like a beggar to a thief He listens closely to my heart beat Search for meaning not tired and cheap He finds a soul so decrepit and poor I look to him like he’s something pure He’ll dissolve into the night Lead to believe in my visions light Making faith my only sight So fragile yet so divine I want to believe in something That could stop my brain from swelling Let the world fall to my feet So I can march to the beat of my dreams Stargazing every night Drinking poison to feel delight Exhale the smoke ‘til I see the light Fantasizing about my past lies If I could change my mind I’d let you paint me pure white But your hands are tied From the indecision In this stream of life So I’ll remain black and blue Till the sea washed me up to false truth Watched my loved ones believe endlessly As I paint a picture of envy Left me there grasping the air Until I knew that nothing was there Succumbed to the power of illusion Sank into sand to forget eternity But I always call out to nothing So it seems I’m doing something I live and die with every breath Puncture my lungs ‘til there’s nothing left Locked up and I swallowed the key So I could never see beauty in greed Left to soak in the rain ‘til I descend to a godless reign Dig those fingers into my eyes Disconnect me from my tortured youth I’ll become one with the damned As I cannot believe in you Succumbed to the power of illusion Sank into sand to forget eternity But I always call out to nothing So it seems I’m doing something If I could sacrifice every sin To feel solace in the skin I’m in I’d let the knife cut me deep And become your dismal being |
|||
7. | Neurosis | 04:45 | Show lyrics |
Calendars hanging from the wall 359 days of withdrawal Left me fucked inside these walls Carve in stone all my faults Losing sense in this dimension That breeds false fate and ill intentions Cleanse me with my paranoia Write me vows you cannot keep And I’ll be a witness to shattered dreams Let the warmth come over me Dig me a grave no one can reach And I’ll lie with my eyes wide open With my glass like emotions Screaming for a sense of clarity Writing vows I cannot keep For my chest is caved in From my racing mind And my trembling hands For I can’t help but think That I’m just the son Of collapsed lungs And I’ll try to say I need you But I can’t make out the words So I just swallow them whole And hope you see I’m at my worst For I’m weak, tired, and so full of hate Seeking validation In self caused pain Everyone’s out for gore And my wrists are slit On this lonesome tower Built on shame and terror I wanna be another cold soul That always takes and takes and takes So I can lay with the fellow sons and daughters of Cain All these anxious claims They’re my way of staying sane I’ll just live another day In this goddamn sorrowful rain So lay me on the altar Oh, god of mental strife Treat my body as a temple I wanna set things right As this recluse that I’ve become Is just a whore of self hatred But I’m learning that’s my natural skin So treat me like another bastard kid And I’ve grown so comfortable With this state I’m in Forced smiles on another thoughtless whim As commitment is an ocean I’m tired of diving in My eyes stapled open And my head never rests Longing for victory In neurosis tyranny I wanna live in false misery Blinking lights In a soul sunken city Live life like the heartless men Who always finds a way to win Let the dying gods crash to their knees Lay them to waste in the Garden of Gethsemane For I’m throwing in the towel In this fight with my existential means |
|||
33:42 |
Bright Lights and Violence
Members | |
---|---|
Miscellaneous staff | |
Blaythe Steuer | Producer |
Kevin Langley | Producer, Recording, Mixing, Mastering |
Nick Chance | Photography |
Cam Smith | Photography |
Tracks | |||
---|---|---|---|
1. | ...Tore Myself in Two | 02:43 | Show lyrics |
And so my body begins to break Feel me quiver and watch me sway Along to the beat of war That takes place inside closed doors And If I ever make it out alive I’m running straight to your light Escaping the curse of Sisyphus Dreaming eyes point towards bliss A new flower blooms before my eyes As the old ones wither away with time Scratched and clawed just to follow you Scratched and clawed just to follow you Crushed under the weight of the true I lie between good and you Sever the heads of the cowards who reap upon the likes of you and me Tore myself in two Tore myself in two to get to you Tore myself in two Tore myself in two to get to you Tore myself in two Tore myself in two to get to you Tore myself in two Tore myself in two to get to you So as I lie before you now With my broken disguise Help sew me back together And breathe life into my rotting heart Tore myself in two Tore myself in two to get to you |
|||
2. | Blood Tithe | 03:30 | Show lyrics |
Breaking porcelain skin Smothered by bright lights and violence Fleeing into the unknown Between hell and heaven Crawl through the broken glass I’ll sing your praise to the ghosts of my past Wrote my thoughts with the blood I spilt Read them aloud and I’ll spill my guilt Leave me in the gutter Let me sulk and suffer Another moment left behind Breaking teeth with every smile I’m wrapping my arms around the dark Embracing the calamity A world of peace could never welcome me I spit blood on the cross of serenity Breaking porcelain skin Smothered by bright lights and violence Fleeing into the unknown Between hell and heaven Mesmerized by the ties that bind I still see through tired eyes Hold me down and tell me my sins And never forgive them Tear me apart and leave me for dead I need something more than a hole in my head Tried to exist with my indifference Fell in love with the process So now I always tremble in the face of change Diving headfirst and riding the tide of shame Only seeing with bitter red eyes Always dreaming of lost youth and blue skies A dull vision of A dull vision of Breaking porcelain skin Smothered by bright lights and violence Fleeing into the unknown Between hell and heaven Mesmerized by the ties that bind I still see through tired eyes Hold me down and tell me my sins And never forgive them Never forgiven Never forgiven Never forgiven Never forgiven |
|||
3. | Bright Lights and Violence | 00:43 | instrumental |
(loading lyrics...) | |||
4. | Suffer Through | 02:53 | Show lyrics |
Leave me chained to the bed Leave me to the thoughts in my head Leave me to reminisce all the memories I couldn’t kill Leave me in a state of shit Leave me floating in the wind Leave me to explore my worth Leave me to be my worst It’s all apart of my process I never feel more alone than when I’m in a crowded room I’ll get the urge to speak but sit quiet and listen To the thoughts of strangers that I might love to know And the carefree parts of them really speak to me It’s the ways I can’t relate but envy Making me feel crazy Fill me with vanity And let me run free Short of thrills and oxygen I wanna feel alive in the midst Of failure and self-loathing I wanna feel alive again Disconnected from it all It’s difficult forming connections With the souls I come across I’d love to share my time with them But this mind is my crux Going from extreme to extreme I never really know what I want but I know I want it Residing with manic tendencies And the notion of coming clean I’ve bitten off more than I can chew But I’ll just suffer through Leave me to sunlight and warmth Leave me in the arms of my love Leave me inside dreams of prosperity Leave me for the ones I trust Leave me with a will to live Leave me with a chance to grow Leave me with the knowledge of knowing When to come and when to go Another night thinking of life and what will come next I need some sleep I’ll figure out the rest Days add up, the nights turn cold What am I here for? |
|||
5. | PHantom Touch | 02:47 | Show lyrics |
Drain the blood Home is wherever I’m alone I learned how to die a long time ago Lost in the fog of it all Cleanse me of these plaguing thoughts For anytime I think the battle is over It comes crawling back to me It’s an ocean It’s a war-torn city It takes everything from me It’ll take a prayer to the gods of deceiving nature To sew the threads together Fall apart as it comes together Once I think about the world too much I start losing touch Once I dissect everything I’ve touched I’ll decide I’ve had enough As I’ll never be enough for the name I carry So drain the blood I share with all these strangers Once I think about the word too much I start losing touch Once I dissect everything I’ve touched I’ll decide I’ve had enough (x3) |
|||
12:36 |
Dreams of Dying Remedies
Members | |
---|---|
Band members | |
Russ Rogers | Lyrics |
Guest/Session | |
Jamie Hanks | Vocals (additional) (track 2) |
Miscellaneous staff | |
Kevin Langley | Recording, Mixing, Mastering, Producer |
Zachary Walker | Producer, Layout |
Blaythe Steuer | Producer |
Jessica Gallagher | Photography |
Nick Chance | Photography |
Luis Descartes | Photography |
Chelsea Kleis | Cover art (model) |
Luciferium War Graphics | Logo |
Casey Marley | Layout |
Tracks | |||
---|---|---|---|
1. | Scorched Home | 03:45 | Show lyrics |
I’ve shed every ounce of skin And abandoned the only home I have ever had All for the chase of finding something to suffocate my soul Hoping I could then fit into this hole A place where I’ll self inflict the pain Until there is nothing left to feel Besides the scars I trace Just to think of all the wrongs I’ll never right As I’ve poured kerosene on everything I’ve built Just to feel the warmth of burning desire Burnt my life down Took shelter inside my head Laid with thieves To fill the voids left A heart once gold Left to corrode And my stench Has left me alone I’ve done all but atone For the oaths I have broke Watched my blood suffer From my scorched home Years of playing the victim Has placed me here And I fooled no one Don’t place your empathy here Let waves of peace Crash through me Hang me out to dry On the cross of serenity As my convictions turned to dust I felt a sense of relief Cause this mind is the only burden I need Let me die hanging my head Ever so filled with dread Cause I made my life A cellar for what I had And I’ll roam until a purpose finds me But like the righteous I’ll rot eternally |
|||
2. | Holy Water | 04:09 | Show lyrics |
I’m remembering all the times With no consciousness You crashed the car From the medicine to cope So you could forget me and her Were ever yours Brand us as your downfall And we’ll brand you the same For your love is in vain So we were taught that love is pain And you lived in the glass house That the river flooded Though it was all a ploy For the sickness toyed with Drown me Sever every tie bonding you and I Drown me in your holy water As you collided with the floor Our family died So I searched for beauty in the storm ‘Til our worlds collide Choking on the blood you gave me Leave me paralyzed For your crocodile tears They kill me Leave me paralyzed And the song you sang It didn’t mean a thing For you’re hard to handle Selfish and sad Yet I still find sympathy Deep in my heart As much as I try to hate I’ll miss you when you’re gone And when the time comes We’ll walk in shame ‘Cause the blood in me Was your blood to take Another glass of wine To take you away From your hardships and troubles That leave you ashamed As you remember the path you took That will haunt you till the end |
|||
3. | Dreaming Red | 03:04 | Show lyrics |
Losing myself in primitive thoughts it’s like I’m always dreaming I’m God Caught staring at the clock until I find some courage It just ticks and ticks until my atoms split This war has found its way to my door I’ll be a victim of debt’s scorn Lying in the trench with my restlessness Restlessness Dwelling with the neanderthals Searching for a fix Dreaming the red out of my eyes Until I get my fix Dependent on addiction’s core Blending to the pavement Searching for so much more Left on the floor In search of a coma’s cure Fill up these veins With my poison dreams |
|||
4. | Fire Walk With Me | 05:45 | Show lyrics |
Sick of death and sick of life Watched the sun devour the night I’m always following the ghost of melancholy Life has chained me And taken me under the wings of tormented dreams And when it all crashed down As did my certainty Another night burning flowers As it serves as a reminder of words growing thin Asphyxiated from the sight of you And I severed the tongue That grew incapable of speaking your name Buried it with the promises of which we couldn’t obtain And I lie in the soil waiting for you to call my name You found warmth in a place once cold Left me to die and watch my heart erode Stayed in your shadow and watched you bloom It’s lovely from a distance but leaves me bruised My role as a placeholder has come and gone Left to figure out where it all went wrong Now I sleep in an altered state You haunt me in my dreams And leave me to inhale apathy As your every breath Pierces my arteries So I avoid sleep As the fear of waking up is taking its toll on me I don’t wanna open my eyes to a life once pure and clean I wanna beg for you to come and save me But this complacency has purged me Pray to be numb As the ache never leaves Your blood has made its home in my veins A heart that once beat in unison with mine Writes the death note to this life So I dig to the earth’s core to search for all abandoned And all I find Is the torture adored Chained to your roses thorn And all the secrets I chose to ignore Mirror fades to black Felt you through the cracks Death comes and gives me a light Life fades in this darkness of mine Painting walls with these memories I’m just a cog in this suicide machine Trying to clear my head But this damage is done I’ll wither away instead Let me be the first to die in your flowerhead Every flower whispers your name As if I was still engraved in your brain Every flower whispers your name For you are still engraved in my brain My ghost will trace your name in the dirt upon my grave |
|||
5. | Grief/Relief | 06:46 | Show lyrics |
Drowning in a sea of consciousness Off the coast of depravity Left the ruins and sank in your skin Wept and wept as I faced punishment Watched souls escape through a lens Forked tongue spewing venom Blackened lungs and bloodshot eyes This is how I always pictured I’d die Searched for grief in a painting called relief Bathed in lust to remind me That desires always erase me So love doesn’t come easy And hatred sings a song so pure to me It fuels my insecurities Always fail to cover my tracks So when I fall I never react Trying to search for grace in this pain Let it flow like the blood in my veins My nails can only carry so much dirt So I’ll cut off my fingers to make this work Searched for inspiration among travesty Found myself alone craving security Another door shut in my face Another reason to kill the memories Buried them deep inside my head Lost souls sleeping in my bed Watched souls escape through a lens Forked tongue spewing venom Blackened lungs and bloodshot eyes This is how I always pictured I’d die Though I’d like to say goodbye Forced dementia through my mind So whoever’s controlling you now Let them know I fucking tried Watched the dust settle Heard the rite of passage Locked eyes with a ghost that failed me Searched for solace in dead memories So for the closure we’ll never have I’ll continue to scream your name Until I feel nothing I seek nothing Carried the weight of words you spoke Felt your God clenching my throat Left to dwell for eternity About love, hate, and everything in between Inhaling smoke and breathing out fire Wish I was never born with desire The gods have cast a burden upon my soul And anguish cuts my throat Leave me to the worms so they can feast On all my dead-weight dreams So find me hanging from your light So I can keep myself warm For these times are trying And you lost intentions once pure Put your hands around my neck I want you to feel victorious again So shall I sink like Virginia Woolf Or will I burn like I’m Joan of Arc Either way, the world’s gonna spin So I’ll return to my dream state again For this remedy, it must die Place your flowers in my eyes |
|||
6. | Charlatan | 05:28 | Show lyrics |
Stargazing through these cold empty streets I’ll call to god like a beggar to a thief He listens closely to my heart beat Search for meaning not tired and cheap He finds a soul so decrepit and poor I look to him like he’s something pure He’ll dissolve into the night Lead to believe in my visions light Making faith my only sight So fragile yet so divine I want to believe in something That could stop my brain from swelling Let the world fall to my feet So I can march to the beat of my dreams Stargazing every night Drinking poison to feel delight Exhale the smoke ‘til I see the light Fantasizing about my past lies If I could change my mind I’d let you paint me pure white But your hands are tied From the indecision In this stream of life So I’ll remain black and blue Till the sea washed me up to false truth Watched my loved ones believe endlessly As I paint a picture of envy Left me there grasping the air Until I knew that nothing was there Succumbed to the power of illusion Sank into sand to forget eternity But I always call out to nothing So it seems I’m doing something I live and die with every breath Puncture my lungs ‘til there’s nothing left Locked up and I swallowed the key So I could never see beauty in greed Left to soak in the rain ‘til I descend to a godless reign Dig those fingers into my eyes Disconnect me from my tortured youth I’ll become one with the damned As I cannot believe in you Succumbed to the power of illusion Sank into sand to forget eternity But I always call out to nothing So it seems I’m doing something If I could sacrifice every sin To feel solace in the skin I’m in I’d let the knife cut me deep And become your dismal being |
|||
7. | Neurosis | 04:45 | Show lyrics |
Calendars hanging from the wall 359 days of withdrawal Left me fucked inside these walls Carve in stone all my faults Losing sense in this dimension That breeds false fate and ill intentions Cleanse me with my paranoia Write me vows you cannot keep And I’ll be a witness to shattered dreams Let the warmth come over me Dig me a grave no one can reach And I’ll lie with my eyes wide open With my glass like emotions Screaming for a sense of clarity Writing vows I cannot keep For my chest is caved in From my racing mind And my trembling hands For I can’t help but think That I’m just the son Of collapsed lungs And I’ll try to say I need you But I can’t make out the words So I just swallow them whole And hope you see I’m at my worst For I’m weak, tired, and so full of hate Seeking validation In self caused pain Everyone’s out for gore And my wrists are slit On this lonesome tower Built on shame and terror I wanna be another cold soul That always takes and takes and takes So I can lay with the fellow sons and daughters of Cain All these anxious claims They’re my way of staying sane I’ll just live another day In this goddamn sorrowful rain So lay me on the altar Oh, god of mental strife Treat my body as a temple I wanna set things right As this recluse that I’ve become Is just a whore of self hatred But I’m learning that’s my natural skin So treat me like another bastard kid And I’ve grown so comfortable With this state I’m in Forced smiles on another thoughtless whim As commitment is an ocean I’m tired of diving in My eyes stapled open And my head never rests Longing for victory In neurosis tyranny I wanna live in false misery Blinking lights In a soul sunken city Live life like the heartless men Who always finds a way to win Let the dying gods crash to their knees Lay them to waste in the Garden of Gethsemane For I’m throwing in the towel In this fight with my existential means |
|||
33:42 |
Dreams of Dying Remedies
Members | |
---|---|
Original line-up | |
Band members | |
Russ Rogers | Lyrics |
Guest/Session | |
Jamie Hanks | Vocals (additional) (track 2) |
Miscellaneous staff | |
Kevin Langley | Recording, Mixing, Mastering, Producer |
Luciferium War Graphics | Logo |
Zachary Walker | Producer, Layout |
Casey Marley | Layout |
Blaythe Steuer | Producer |
Jessica Gallagher | Photography |
Nick Chance | Photography |
Luis Descartes | Photography |
Chelsea Kleis | Cover art (model) |
Tracks | |||
---|---|---|---|
1. | Scorched Home | 03:45 | Show lyrics |
I’ve shed every ounce of skin And abandoned the only home I have ever had All for the chase of finding something to suffocate my soul Hoping I could then fit into this hole A place where I’ll self inflict the pain Until there is nothing left to feel Besides the scars I trace Just to think of all the wrongs I’ll never right As I’ve poured kerosene on everything I’ve built Just to feel the warmth of burning desire Burnt my life down Took shelter inside my head Laid with thieves To fill the voids left A heart once gold Left to corrode And my stench Has left me alone I’ve done all but atone For the oaths I have broke Watched my blood suffer From my scorched home Years of playing the victim Has placed me here And I fooled no one Don’t place your empathy here Let waves of peace Crash through me Hang me out to dry On the cross of serenity As my convictions turned to dust I felt a sense of relief Cause this mind is the only burden I need Let me die hanging my head Ever so filled with dread Cause I made my life A cellar for what I had And I’ll roam until a purpose finds me But like the righteous I’ll rot eternally |
|||
2. | Holy Water | 04:09 | Show lyrics |
I’m remembering all the times With no consciousness You crashed the car From the medicine to cope So you could forget me and her Were ever yours Brand us as your downfall And we’ll brand you the same For your love is in vain So we were taught that love is pain And you lived in the glass house That the river flooded Though it was all a ploy For the sickness toyed with Drown me Sever every tie bonding you and I Drown me in your holy water As you collided with the floor Our family died So I searched for beauty in the storm ‘Til our worlds collide Choking on the blood you gave me Leave me paralyzed For your crocodile tears They kill me Leave me paralyzed And the song you sang It didn’t mean a thing For you’re hard to handle Selfish and sad Yet I still find sympathy Deep in my heart As much as I try to hate I’ll miss you when you’re gone And when the time comes We’ll walk in shame ‘Cause the blood in me Was your blood to take Another glass of wine To take you away From your hardships and troubles That leave you ashamed As you remember the path you took That will haunt you till the end |
|||
3. | Dreaming Red | 03:04 | Show lyrics |
Losing myself in primitive thoughts it’s like I’m always dreaming I’m God Caught staring at the clock until I find some courage It just ticks and ticks until my atoms split This war has found its way to my door I’ll be a victim of debt’s scorn Lying in the trench with my restlessness Restlessness Dwelling with the neanderthals Searching for a fix Dreaming the red out of my eyes Until I get my fix Dependent on addiction’s core Blending to the pavement Searching for so much more Left on the floor In search of a coma’s cure Fill up these veins With my poison dreams |
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4. | Fire Walk With Me | 05:45 | Show lyrics |
Sick of death and sick of life Watched the sun devour the night I’m always following the ghost of melancholy Life has chained me And taken me under the wings of tormented dreams And when it all crashed down As did my certainty Another night burning flowers As it serves as a reminder of words growing thin Asphyxiated from the sight of you And I severed the tongue That grew incapable of speaking your name Buried it with the promises of which we couldn’t obtain And I lie in the soil waiting for you to call my name You found warmth in a place once cold Left me to die and watch my heart erode Stayed in your shadow and watched you bloom It’s lovely from a distance but leaves me bruised My role as a placeholder has come and gone Left to figure out where it all went wrong Now I sleep in an altered state You haunt me in my dreams And leave me to inhale apathy As your every breath Pierces my arteries So I avoid sleep As the fear of waking up is taking its toll on me I don’t wanna open my eyes to a life once pure and clean I wanna beg for you to come and save me But this complacency has purged me Pray to be numb As the ache never leaves Your blood has made its home in my veins A heart that once beat in unison with mine Writes the death note to this life So I dig to the earth’s core to search for all abandoned And all I find Is the torture adored Chained to your roses thorn And all the secrets I chose to ignore Mirror fades to black Felt you through the cracks Death comes and gives me a light Life fades in this darkness of mine Painting walls with these memories I’m just a cog in this suicide machine Trying to clear my head But this damage is done I’ll wither away instead Let me be the first to die in your flowerhead Every flower whispers your name As if I was still engraved in your brain Every flower whispers your name For you are still engraved in my brain My ghost will trace your name in the dirt upon my grave |
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5. | Grief/Relief | 06:46 | Show lyrics |
Drowning in a sea of consciousness Off the coast of depravity Left the ruins and sank in your skin Wept and wept as I faced punishment Watched souls escape through a lens Forked tongue spewing venom Blackened lungs and bloodshot eyes This is how I always pictured I’d die Searched for grief in a painting called relief Bathed in lust to remind me That desires always erase me So love doesn’t come easy And hatred sings a song so pure to me It fuels my insecurities Always fail to cover my tracks So when I fall I never react Trying to search for grace in this pain Let it flow like the blood in my veins My nails can only carry so much dirt So I’ll cut off my fingers to make this work Searched for inspiration among travesty Found myself alone craving security Another door shut in my face Another reason to kill the memories Buried them deep inside my head Lost souls sleeping in my bed Watched souls escape through a lens Forked tongue spewing venom Blackened lungs and bloodshot eyes This is how I always pictured I’d die Though I’d like to say goodbye Forced dementia through my mind So whoever’s controlling you now Let them know I fucking tried Watched the dust settle Heard the rite of passage Locked eyes with a ghost that failed me Searched for solace in dead memories So for the closure we’ll never have I’ll continue to scream your name Until I feel nothing I seek nothing Carried the weight of words you spoke Felt your God clenching my throat Left to dwell for eternity About love, hate, and everything in between Inhaling smoke and breathing out fire Wish I was never born with desire The gods have cast a burden upon my soul And anguish cuts my throat Leave me to the worms so they can feast On all my dead-weight dreams So find me hanging from your light So I can keep myself warm For these times are trying And you lost intentions once pure Put your hands around my neck I want you to feel victorious again So shall I sink like Virginia Woolf Or will I burn like I’m Joan of Arc Either way, the world’s gonna spin So I’ll return to my dream state again For this remedy, it must die Place your flowers in my eyes |
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6. | Charlatan | 05:28 | Show lyrics |
Stargazing through these cold empty streets I’ll call to god like a beggar to a thief He listens closely to my heart beat Search for meaning not tired and cheap He finds a soul so decrepit and poor I look to him like he’s something pure He’ll dissolve into the night Lead to believe in my visions light Making faith my only sight So fragile yet so divine I want to believe in something That could stop my brain from swelling Let the world fall to my feet So I can march to the beat of my dreams Stargazing every night Drinking poison to feel delight Exhale the smoke ‘til I see the light Fantasizing about my past lies If I could change my mind I’d let you paint me pure white But your hands are tied From the indecision In this stream of life So I’ll remain black and blue Till the sea washed me up to false truth Watched my loved ones believe endlessly As I paint a picture of envy Left me there grasping the air Until I knew that nothing was there Succumbed to the power of illusion Sank into sand to forget eternity But I always call out to nothing So it seems I’m doing something I live and die with every breath Puncture my lungs ‘til there’s nothing left Locked up and I swallowed the key So I could never see beauty in greed Left to soak in the rain ‘til I descend to a godless reign Dig those fingers into my eyes Disconnect me from my tortured youth I’ll become one with the damned As I cannot believe in you Succumbed to the power of illusion Sank into sand to forget eternity But I always call out to nothing So it seems I’m doing something If I could sacrifice every sin To feel solace in the skin I’m in I’d let the knife cut me deep And become your dismal being |
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7. | Neurosis | 04:45 | Show lyrics |
Calendars hanging from the wall 359 days of withdrawal Left me fucked inside these walls Carve in stone all my faults Losing sense in this dimension That breeds false fate and ill intentions Cleanse me with my paranoia Write me vows you cannot keep And I’ll be a witness to shattered dreams Let the warmth come over me Dig me a grave no one can reach And I’ll lie with my eyes wide open With my glass like emotions Screaming for a sense of clarity Writing vows I cannot keep For my chest is caved in From my racing mind And my trembling hands For I can’t help but think That I’m just the son Of collapsed lungs And I’ll try to say I need you But I can’t make out the words So I just swallow them whole And hope you see I’m at my worst For I’m weak, tired, and so full of hate Seeking validation In self caused pain Everyone’s out for gore And my wrists are slit On this lonesome tower Built on shame and terror I wanna be another cold soul That always takes and takes and takes So I can lay with the fellow sons and daughters of Cain All these anxious claims They’re my way of staying sane I’ll just live another day In this goddamn sorrowful rain So lay me on the altar Oh, god of mental strife Treat my body as a temple I wanna set things right As this recluse that I’ve become Is just a whore of self hatred But I’m learning that’s my natural skin So treat me like another bastard kid And I’ve grown so comfortable With this state I’m in Forced smiles on another thoughtless whim As commitment is an ocean I’m tired of diving in My eyes stapled open And my head never rests Longing for victory In neurosis tyranny I wanna live in false misery Blinking lights In a soul sunken city Live life like the heartless men Who always finds a way to win Let the dying gods crash to their knees Lay them to waste in the Garden of Gethsemane For I’m throwing in the towel In this fight with my existential means |
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33:42 |
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